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The East Coast--a slice of "mission field"

By: Paradox

For as long as I've been a member, I've lived in "mission field." When I leave for BYU at the end of August, it will be the first time I experience Utah--and I've been warned that it's like stepping onto a completely different planet. Naturally, the idea over East Coast membership VS the Jello Belt has weighed heavily on my mind. The benefits listed by The Baron are the benefits I've heard time and time again. Allow me, then, to give you the other side of the coin.

Advantages of Being LDS outside of Utah

Mormon? Never heard of em--are they from Europe?: Non-members in Utah are usually familiar with the Church, but many times I've met people out here who have no idea what a Mormon is. When I explain my beliefs to someone, I don't have to do much damage control because of something someone else did or said--unless you count the pre-conceived notions other churches have against us sometimes, but most people are really good about letting us defend ourselves. In that regard, missionary work is easy.

Prom dresses? Is that all?: Choosing between right and wrong takes on a different meaning in Utah. I've heard the prom dress/bathing suit argument too many times to count, and I find that to be highly representative of the kinds of choices members in Utah have to make in comparison to other places. While the leaders out West nitpick about MySpace, music choices, and clothing choices, many of us out here in the hinterlands have had to face choices of a different calibur; do I spend my 17th birthday with my family, or do I go to the annual temple trip with my branch? do I work on Sunday, or do I go without a job because nowhere will hire me if my schedule is conditional? do I respond to the criticism my English teacher is making about the LDS Church and Joseph Smith, or do I turn the other cheek? do I make a stand for my beliefs and face the inevitable teasing and mockery, or do I keep my mouth shut and hope my differences remain undetected? And those are just examples from my life! What about the brothers and sisters that save for years just to make a week long bus trip to a temple thousands of miles away? With choices like these--and this just may be my bias speaking--there is no contest between which area is given the harder task to meet. But at the same time, I take pride in the fact that seminary teachers from Utah have come to EFY on the East Coast and admit to our faces, "I don't know how you all do it. You guys are made of sterner stuff than the kids back home." Our choices have a different quality to them, and it shows when you talk to us. And the further away from Utah, it seems, the more that quality seems to increase.

No choking on piety: Because we are more exposed to the walks of life that would make many people in Utah shudder, we tend to be more accepting of non-members... which makes them more likely to be accessible in return. I personally have a friend that is very open with her drug usage and pre-marital sex choices. Living where I do, it's almost impossible NOT to have at least one friend who dabbles in some kind of something they shouldn't be doing. People see the way I've treated her--without judgment--and they've found me to be approachable. They come to me and ask about my standards. Just today, I had someone who tormented me in jr high school come up to me and as good as ask me what I think of him. When you live in an area where the Molly Mormon mold is the exception, not the rule, your leaders understand that you can't follow every single rule to a tee, nor do they encourage you to be that self-righteous.

Member or non-member is not the question: sometimes I feel like, as members of the Church, we overlook the good in other churches and other people because they're aren't with us. But I've seen the stands that non-members have made for their faith around here, and I admit I've been outshined. And many times, the person helping me to protect my modesty during a school function, or helping me to keep my standards, was a non-member. We have the benefit of seeing the world through the perspective of righteous VS unrighteous, instead of member vs non-member. The difference between those two things is a big one.

Disadvantages of Being LDS outside of Utah

Once an enemy, always an enemy: Because the zone boundaries are so spread out in areas of lesser activity, and because there are so few members in comparison, what you see it what you get. If you get into some kind of quarrel with another member, it's not like there are always other people you can talk to. You have to be careful not to make too many enemies because once you run out of people to aggravate, that's it.

And with approaching non-members, because you are probably the first (and maybe even the only) Mormon someone has met/will meet, you have to be sure to make a good first impression so it reflects well on the Church. This often means being on your best behavior, even with people you don't necessarily like, especially once they know you're a member of the Church. P's and Q's may be difficult to watch, but if you don't want someone in your English class to say "But I thought you were Mormon, shouldn't you not be doing that?" you really don't have a choice.

Sound off if you're not here: Because our meetings are smaller, so is the number of people who show up to every single activity. It's almost like a club--the Same Three People who show up for everything. And if 2 of the three happen to be people you don't like, it's highly unlikely you're going to become one of the Same Four People. And if there's a beach party during senior week, expect to be the only one in Young Womens on Sunday--which isn't fun, let me tell you.

You want me to do what?: With a limited number of people, you take what calling or assignment the Bishopric gives you--even if it's ward bulletin board arranger. Same concept goes for the 6 AM service project, or next Sunday's talk. After all, who else can they call?

FEMA has nothing on Deseret Book: I've waited 6 months to get a scripture marking pencil. It's absolutely ridiculous the hoops you have to jump through to get LDS materials out here. When I heard Wal Marts out in Utah sell LDS books, I about fell over! The last time I was up at Borders, I was tempted to leave some copies of the Book of Mormon on the shelf just so the LDS shelf--yes, shelf-- would have something else on it other than anti-Mormon biographies.

Nobody gets your jello jokes: This one just makes me sad. I crack Mormon jokes all the time, and nobody ever gets them. I heard about that episode of the Office where that guy put the other guy's stuff in Jello--and I said it's the Mormon way of getting revenge, and nobody got it until I explained it.Then they asked me why on earth someone would put carrots in jello, and I had to give up at that point.

I'm not mean! Take that back before I hit you!: Yes, it's true. My boyfriend just moved out to Utah, and he tells me constantly how there are NO fights out there--unheard of in the high schools over here. We've actually had someone take a boxcutter to the face in my high school--but apparently, that doesn't happen in Utah. No fights. NONE.... I cannot begin to fathom. Not even a little bit.

 

But of course, these are all based entirely on my perspective as an East Coast Mormon. And after the people I met from Tennessee at EFY, I have not problem believing that being active LDS not only means something different outside of Utah, but to different regions of the United States as well. What it takes to be active in the South is different from the East is different from the North is different for the midwest. Each of us have our own advantages and disadvantages that many of us CAN'T notice because we don't know about them.

So US Mormons; what are some unique differences you've noticed between regions of the US in the way they approach living the gospel and being active? How much do those differences add diversity to our church culture? How much do they divide us?

Print | posted on Monday, May 12, 2008 5:02 PM | Filed Under [ Paradox Mormon Culture ]

Comments:

#1: Eric Nielson

I am a member in a small town in Michigan. One thing I have learned is that Mormons are not the only extreme right wingers in the world. Not by a long shot (which means I fit in relatively well).

Another thing I have noticed in how much influence and 'power' a bishop has out here. Here the bishop is Mr. everything. Back in Idaho (where I grew up) being a bishop was no big deal - there were lots of bishops around. And everyone would get their turn (almost). But people go to their bishop about everything.

Also, the bishop had such a huge influence on members. Our current bishop is a food storage/emergency prepardness/doom and gloom millenium forcaster who has everyone hording and waiting for Armegeddon. And that has become the personality of our ward. Our previous bishop thought 'the world' was a very dangerous and evil thing. He had no TV at all and was very concerned about any sign of possible evil in anything. That became the personality of our ward.
5/13/2008 5:20 AM

#2: Sam B.

Eric,
Really? I've noticed just the opposite about bishops: I get the sense that your position in the Church carries over in Utah to your social position outside of the Church. Here (New York, but it also applies in Virginia and California, at least), nobody cares if you're Bishop. Outside the Church or inside. I really like my Bishop, but his prestige and social positioning are related to his professional life. I'm the only member of the Church in my law firm of 300 attorneys plus countless staff. That I'm a primary teacher doesn't come up but, if it did, would have no impact at all on what my colleagues think of me; it would be the same if I were Bishop.

This perception is increased in my mind because, almost invariable, when we have visitors from the Mormon corridor at church, when they introduce themselves (and without any prompting), they tell us what their callings are at home. I wouldn't dream of doing that, and I don't think anyone else in my area would, either.
5/13/2008 11:00 AM

#3: Eric Nielson

Hmmm. Total opposite from my experience.

In my ward, and neighboring wards, the bishops are expected to do pretty much everything. And people put a lot of clout on anything they say (in terms of doctrine or practice). So around here they are looked at like a 'professional' minister or something. And in many ways callings are looked at as promotions/demotions around these parts.
5/13/2008 3:05 PM

#4: hawkgrrrl

Growing up in PA was mostly like what you state in your post. There wasn't a lot of anti-Mormon speech in school at the time, but one time the local churches all got together to see The Godmakers and to be warned not to let the missionaries in. The next day my friends all asked me what we really believed, and I answered their questions. They were skeptical about all their (usually disagreeing) preachers coming together with only one purpose: to get the Mormons.

One thing I will add - BYU was a major culture shock, and Mormons who had never been "east of the Mississippi" really didn't like the idea that it was different. They kept asking me what it was like "in the mission field," and I would explain I hadn't been on a mission. Then I found out they were calling places that weren't Utah "the mission field," a term I hadn't heard before. There were a lot of UT Mormons who resented the Utah Mormon stereotype, whether it applied to them or not. I hadn't dated Mormons before, and that too was a big shock. IMO, Mormon boys were totally unlike any other boys I had encountered.
5/14/2008 8:32 PM

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